Like it was a good idea at the time or some nonsense.
I, being the girl that I am, didn't even realize my life was in danger. The baby was talking in the backseat ... my hand was reaching for a can of Diet Mountain Dew to my right.
And it happened.
A chair came careening off of the top of the van, flipping weightlessly through the wind, landing just off to the side of the road ... inches away from my front passenger tire, yet close enough to nearly send me straight on into a cardiac arrest.
Suddenly, I was The Best Driver In The World. Hands at ten and two - Diet Mountain Dew forgotten. I didn't blink.
And then the second chair came flying off of the van. Like confetti at New Years, it first flew up and then fluttered down, spinning slightly. This one? This one required the use of my Elite Task Force Skills (which are typically kept way, way under wraps) to miss.
I went from The Best Driver In The World to The Best NASCAR Driver In The World.
Upon passing the minivan from Illinois, I honked a few times and desperately pointed to the roof of my SUV. Kind of like, "Hey, your frigging folding chairs are flying off the back of your vehicle - putting every single person behind you in danger and you're not going to have anything to sit on whenever you get to where you're going!" Obviously, they didn't understand the reference because the biyatch flipped me off.
Oh hells to the no.
So I set my cruise to fifty and finally took a drink.
I like to think I make my parents proud.
And such has been my week. Flying chairs. Ex-lovers screaming back into my life for a brief, startling second. A head cold. Little Girl Cheerleading Camp. Whacking my knee on my opened desk drawer for the six thousandth time. #horseshit
I listened to this song this morning and it has been in my head all day. Mostly just the da-da-das ... because let's be real - I'm not a singer. My kids are sick of hearing it.
Total Perk of Teaching: Music Control
It's powerful and I like it and you should listen.
I love you like I love the flannel sheets on Saturday mornings.
I definitely realize there is no rhyme or reason to this blog post. This week has left me discombobulated. Mostly, I just wanted to use that word, but really, it's the truth.